I Wish My Slight Irritations Resulted in Pearls

There are two things that have been really irratating me recently:

Bikers and Parking

I attend University of San Francisco.....in San Francisco. I commute everyday taking 101-NB 46 miles to school. Now this drive is rather relaxing, an escape from stress and school. Humming down the busy streets of San Francisco, listening to NPR, I am at peace. Until, all of the sudden I see a zooming object in the corner of my eye. It could only be one thing, an inconsiderate cyclist. My heart nearly jumps out of my chest as I have to pull a Toyota and slam both feet on the brakes. The cyclist taking the law into his own hands cuts me off and if it wasn't for my paranoia, he would've been consumed by the front of my car. Now, I like bikes, biking is fun, environmentally helpful and gives you a sense of freedom that driving just can't equal. HOWEVER, just because you're on a bike does NOT mean you can make your own goddamn rules. If that cyclist had just stopped at the STOP sign, there would have been no need for an emergency stop half way through an intersection.

Many bikers I know complain about the lack of respect bikes get in the City, "Sorry, isn't gonna help me once you've hit me." WELL NUKKA if you don't want to be hit with my metal beast give me some respect and follow the fucking law. Stop being high and mighty about you mode of transportation and think about what you are about to do. YOU ARE NOT A CAR. If there is a bike lane use that, don't get in front of me in the DRIVING LANE. If there is a stretch of empty side walk use that. Use the road as a last resort, and respect traffic. In a physical confrontation, the car

always wins.

Well, if City bikers are bad, city parking is Samuel L. Jackson fucking a great white, bad ass. USF is not a commuter school and their parking policy is utterly ridiculous! Everyday I have to buy a square piece of construction paper for 8-15 dollars. Now, this deal wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that this permit guaranteed me a spot, well it doesn't. And when you can't find a spot you have to options to surrender your car to the hipster valet with a PBR tall can in his hand or park on the streets. If you have ever been to San Francisco you know these two options are barely options. If you choose the buzzed hip valet, your car will end reeking of apathy, cheap beer, and could be totaled. If you choose the streets you have to attempt to squeeze into a minuet stretch of road only to be trapped in your car stalking the meter maids. UGG, to show my distaste for this awful parking, I made a sign and keep it on my dash.

Minty Nightmare

Many people who know me are aware I DO NOT stay up past 11pm voluntarily, so why the late post?

Two words:

Tiger Balm

Each night as I lay myself to rest my legs seize up in pain, like an overly zealous xylophone player decided to use my legs for his solo. After 2 Dr.Who specials, 1hr 20min of the Great Gatsby, and 3 episodes of This American Life, I am

still tossing and turning with my eyes begging me for sleep. After spying a pot of Tiger Balm I decide that I should rub that on legs and feel the relief of Chinese Herbs.

BULLSHIT I SAY! This "100 year-old" remedy is a minty nightmare. About 5 minutes after application, my leg

s begin to burn and reek. The scent wakes up my brain and the burning sensation wakes up my body. Now, I am stuck with too peppermint abominations for legs.

Ugg!

On another note I must say I'm going to add a "Clive Chafer: The Best Brit You Will Ever Encounter" section to each posting, this is my first one.

CLIVE CHAFER: The Best Brit You Will Ever Encounter

Clive Chafer is my very british Classical Dramatic Literature professor. He sounds like John Cleese and acts like he is on Monty Python every class. Now, as a disclaimer you must understand Clive is a brilliant professor, he is extremely intelligent, and keeps me engage in extremely boring translations of Greek tragedies. His wackiness is just endearing, not a reflection on his skillz.

Now today's Clive experience is a la elementary school. We received our first assignment back of the semester, being an abject failure I forgot to answer one question, not achieving a perfect score. However, the girl sitting next to me did. As a reward for her hard work Clive decided to reward her.

With an olive green hat sticker. First of all, this is a junior level college corse and we get rewarded with stickers. Second of all, its not even a golden star or something related to sucess, no sir, Clive is too hip for something generic like that. He chooses a sticker that resembles something like this:

Oh, Clive :)